I threw my last card down as I sat on the floor of our porch. A beat up oversized coat hung on my body and sox with fingers out on my hands. Eileen my sister jumped to her feet and stood over me. “You’re a cheater.”

I yelled, my arms in the air like a prizefighter. “I won Crazy eights.”

She stomped her feet. I stood up and she pushed me down. She snatched the wool skull cap I wore and with her other hand smacked me in the head. She threw the cap back in my face and ran up the stairs.

“Don’t worry about her,” my other sister Mary would say. “She’s just mad because you won. You’re a good player Johnny.”

I knew I was. I beat her fair and square. Last time I cheated.

We would sit there and play until someone got mad, quit or bit. Any combo was possible. A good thing about my family was no one stayed mad for long. If it was pickup sticks and there was a disagreement, you could get stabbed by the other player. I had many stick marks to prove it.

Eileen would cry and say “I don’t want to play, you always let Johnny win.”

“He’s the littlest. He’s got to win sometimes.” Winning anything in my house wasn’t easy, but when it came it made me feel good. Even when you’re eight.

As long as we were away from dad things were ok. Our house was like being in the middle of a dodge ball game. You had to be alert for anything. Since I was the smallest, I was the target. Like they say, it all rolls down hill to me. The worst was feeling humiliated, one time like now there was no hot water. I was in the tub and my penis was disappearing. I screamed and the whole family came in. I yelled it’s shrinking, it’s shrinking. They all laughed and told me not to worry it was the cold water. Who knew? They were girls.

One night after a board game my sisters talked about going to the church on the corner. “Johnny you wanna come with us? We’re going to look at the manger. I jumped into my sneakers and didn’t even tie them. I ran to our hall closet. It was like the lost sock drawer. There was one of everything. A boot, a glove, a skate, a shoe. You name it, one was in there. I grabbed a big red boot. I was on a mission.

As my sisters ran down the stairs, I chased after them. I held the railing because last time I tripped and fell and almost broke my arm. I got out on the street and they were on the corner. Bigger and faster they were. When I arrived on the side of the church I saw it. It was stunning, huge and magnificent. The multicolor lights were shining. A ton of straw covered the stable floor. They had statues of donkeys, sheep, goats, lambs; the three wise men were off to the side. Joseph and Mary were between the baby Jesus. Just like the picture book at home.

My sisters were already on their knees praying. I got down and joined in with some Hail Mary’s. Then we all got up and started signing. “Oh come holy faithful. Joyful and tri omp fit. Oh come here to Bethlehem I don’t know these words. I mouthed the rest, we all smiled, connected. My sisters kissed the blessed mother. I stared at the baby Jesus with no clothes on. I knew how that felt. So I took my red boot and slipped it over the feet to keep him warm.

We laughed and sang more songs in front of the nativity scene. As everyone was leaving, I got back down on my knees and said a strong prayer from my heart. “Dear Jesus, please help our family. We don’t have money, food or heat. We’re broke. I don’t care about toys this year. Just please don’t let mom and dad fight. I need peace God, so I can sleep in the bed and not under it. I love you Jesus with all my might. Thank you.” I held my hands tighter than I ever did in my life. I blessed myself with the sign of the cross.

I don’t remember how long I was there but as I looked up into the nighttime sky above my head, I saw the biggest brightest sparkling star ever. I could not believe it. I turned around to tell everybody but they were gone. I suddenly got a chill that ran from my head down into my body. I was electrified an afraid. Quiet and calmness came over me. I had a special feeling. Did the Holy Ghost just swooped down and invaded my body? I learned all about this in church during communion practice. I looked at the baby Jesus and he winked at me. I stood up and I touched his eye lid just to make sure. I blessed myself with the cross again and took one last look at the beautiful display before running to the corner to get home.

I walked into the house and everyone was busy, school work, sweeping, dishes. The house was quiet. The need to keep the sleeping giant at bay was a must. He was in his room passed out making some animal sounds. It was a regular occurrence.

Going to the kitchen I grabbed the last of the bread, the ends. I liked them. To me that was the best part. There is more meat on the ends then the middle. Even if it was bread. I turned on the burner on the stove and placed a pot of water for tea. My favorite meal, tea and toast with a smear of land o lakes margarine. Eating that for dinner was heaven for me. “Listen up everyone.” I said. “The baby Jesus winked at me.”

“Keep your voice down or dad will wake up and we’ll all be doing forty winks.”

“I swear it true.” They smirked, laughed then ignored me.

Finishing my meal I went into the freezer. That’s what we called one of our bedrooms during the winter months when dad wasn’t working and we couldn’t afford the heat. I lay down in the bed with a full set of clothes on. One blanket covering me and extra clothes on top, It gave me more warmth.

The next day was Saturday and I went down the block to play with some of my poorer friends. Who knew there were different levels of poor? I was on a higher level then Patty. He had nothing to eat. They would all go to the A&P food store and do some serious shoplifting on their mother’s instructions. They picked the mere essentials like bread, milk, juice and butter. I would see the three oldest come down the block laughing. They said it was so easy. They would be pulling things out of their underwear, socks and coat pockets. With thirteen of them no matter how much they stole it was never enough.

The next night Tuesday, I was standing in the kitchen next to the open stove to keep warm. But it’s hard to do that when your sisters keep shoving you away. I got a strange feeling. Something was telling me that I should go pray at the stable with Jesus. I straighten out the skull cap that I have been wearing for the last few weeks and slide on the big coat over my sweater. I grabbed a pair of sox for my hands. It was eight o’clock at night and I’m going out. The weird thing was, no one asked or seemed to care where I was going. “See ya later “I yelled as I left.

Outside the wind was blowing hard and it stung my neck. I put my collar up and pulled down the cap as far as it could go. It was a further walk when you’re alone. At the corner, I looked both ways and crossed the deserted street. I move towards the stable. I saw that the boot was off the poor baby Jesus feet and was now standing up. Why I wondered? Someone didn’t care about him. You gotta take care of them babies or something bad might happen. Like when the Garberes baby died from no heat. They had no blankets at night.

I got on my knees in front of the manger. I thanked him for the peaceful night sleep I got. Dad didn’t wake up once. It was still cold but that was ok. He probably couldn’t see me in the bed if he did want to hit me because I looked like a bunch of clothes.

I got up. I grabbed the boot to put it back on his feet when I noticed that it was filled with dollar bills. I could not believe it. It was a miracle. I wanted to scream. I was heard by God Someone finally answered my plea for once in my miserable little life. I looked at the baby’s icy cold feet and took the sox off my hand. I knocked away some hay I thrust it onto his feet. I then noticed that under the manger was more dollars. I scooped them up shoving them into the boot. I dropped again to my knees and thanked him. I wiped the tears quickly, got up and ran home.

I was afraid someone might think I was taking something that didn’t belong to me. Stealing is the eighth commandment. I figured they wouldn’t believe a kid like me could have a prayer answered like this, but then I realized he gave me the money because we needed it. And besides, the 3 wise men brought him more gold then he would ever need. He was doing what I do all the time. He shared.

I ran up the stairs and I stormed into the kitchen. I emptied the boot on the kitchen table. Everyone gathered around me. “Where did you get this?” Mom quizzed. “The baby Jesus gave me it. I prayed and he answered.” She looked at me. I could see she wanted to question me. I knew in my heart she believed me, but she couldn’t explain it. No more questions from her. She quickly ripped an old brown grocery bag in half and started to write on it. Cold cuts, bread, soup, milk, tuna along with a pack of Chesterfield King Cigarettes that she needed to smoke to live. My sister Pat was given the list and the order to go to the store. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I started to think that maybe we could even get the heat on. It was the day of the red boot miracle. Thanks God.